Back In My Day
The phrase “back in my day” will never get old. How will it ? The world is changing at a pace I cannot keep up with personally, I don’t know if anyone reading this feels the same. I might use the phrase in a different context than my parents but it feels like the phrase is part of being human. My parents or any other older generation will use “back in my days” to tell us all the pain and hardships they had to endure to get where they are now. And I sincerely believe them. My parents are two of the most hardworking, honest and simple human beings I’ve ever met in my entire life time. In fact, now that I am growing older, when ever they start their sentence with back in the days- My ears sharpen and I try to listen to them as intently as I can. I think this has to do with the fact that I am 30 (31 this December) and when my parents were my age, they had 3 kids, trying to make ends meet and yet my childhood memories are filled with Joy and Laughter. To tell our parents that their times were simpler is an insult to them. And them telling us we have it easy is also an overstatement. I think our parents or older generation had to deal with a lot of Physical hardship and this generation with a lot of mental. I am not underestimating both. I have great childhood memories and therefore gratitude towards my parents for letting me be a kid.
Now this is where my use of the phrase “Back in my days” come in. What I am about to share is purely on a basis of a thought, a feeling. A thought that asked a question, “How many children in the world right now are being allowed to be children?” I have to say that the question is rooted in an assumption that being a “Kid” means to have enjoyed the same level of freedom or experiences that I’ve had when I was a child. An immediate answer to that thought provoking question was, “Must be less than it should be”. I do not have statistics from surveys done what so ever to support my thought. This is merely an observation of the world that I see and how it used to be. Of course the standard of comparison will be very different for future generations and they will have their own version of “back in my days” stories to tell. For now this is my version.
By the way, this short essay would not have been born if I wasn’t watching the Music Video above. The whole scenery and atmosphere of the video made me remember the days I spent with my paternal grandparents on a mountain. It brought about memories I forgot to remember consciously. A tiny two storey Cabin, the first floor mainly used as a tool shed, the second floor is basically one giant room divided into three rooms with the doors serving more like a gateway on a two way street with only one point of entry and exit. It wasn’t luxurious but I had no concept of luxury and therefore I had no sense of discomfort. The same can be said of simple living concepts, there was no thought what so ever that told me I was living a simple live, I was just living. I might be Romanticizing, who knows, science say that Our Brains sometimes create ‘false memories’- Memories can be distorted, or even completely made up, But that is what I remember and I am absolutely grateful I remember it that way.
I really feel like people my age who come from similar background are so lucky and fortunate to experience the best of both worlds. I experienced a little of what my parents might have gone through and I am experiencing now the comfort and luxury of a modern life. And I have to say that as much as I am glad we are in this modern age, I also feel sad to see the old ways fade. More so about the sense of friendship and togetherness of a community or a family. People will say, “wow, you have a big room, you live in luxury. Back in my day, we use to sleep in a small room with eight people…etc etc.” But let me tell you, as a kid, that was the best thing. We were not rich and I am sure my parents must have struggled to keep a roof over our heads. Those times when uncles and aunties and cousins came to visit and there is no space for people to sleep so we all sleep next to each other are my fondest and warmest memories. To have little space yet welcoming people to sleep over is a gesture I will forever be in awe of from old days and something future generations will see less of or not at all. The world is changing and with it the idea of freedom. Wanting too much personal space and privacy alienate ourselves from not just our direct family but also close relatives. Anyways , what I am trying to say is that, Children now and future generations will be less capable of sleeping next to four-five cousins. She/he wouldn’t have to since they’ll have lot of room to spare, but what an opportunity missed to imagination they could have shared pretending to sleep and getting into trouble.
My grandparents were Orchard (apple) keepers for a landlord who owned more than 100 acres of land on a mountain. They built the cabin that I spoke of earlier by themselves (Mostly by my grandfather) out of Mud, Stones and Wood. My siblings and I, and 4 cousins from my fathers side always spent our vacation days at our grandparents. Vacation is an interesting choice of word here because we were mostly working, helping out our grandparents with herding cows, gathering firewood and Farm works. Yet to be honest, it never really felt like work, that was our life and we enjoyed it. I don’t know if something like this happen these days. To send off your children to live with their grandparents and have them help around- In this day and age, I don’t think Parents trust the grandparents enough to leave their kids with them. And even if the parents are willing to have their kids stay with their Grandparents, who knows if the kids are obedient enough to listen, you might have to worry they don’t call Child services. This situation is more observable in the civilized and cultured west.
Having less was a blessing. We made the most of everything we had. Or in other words, we did not have a clue of what existed therefore there was no craving for it and no feelings of deprivation. We had nothing to compare our situation with. As human beings, I think comparison happens consciously or unconsciously and in this day and age when you have easy access to information and misinformation, making comparisons have never been easier. There are so many paradoxes especially in this modern life, so much so that if you do not take it with a pinch of humor, it is going to be difficult to lead a happy life. They say in the west that “times Change” but in our culture we say, “Time is constant, people change”. Let me end here and leave you with a poem His Holiness the Dalai Lama wrote which pretty much sums up what I am saying.
THE PARADOX OF OUR AGE — By HH The 14th Dalai Lama
We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbor.
We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever,
but have less real communication;
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall men but short characters;
Steep profits but shallow relationships. It’s a time when there is much in the window but nothing in the room.
